you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
