Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
