she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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