Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
