she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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