reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
