i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
my poor anus
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
