you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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