you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
