If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
