Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
