Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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