omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
