So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
