Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My ass is underappreciated
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
