she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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