Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
